Filthy Mudblood
by keykeeper11
Summary: Lily Evans is sick of being a 'filthy mudblood'. She finally breaks down one day after being practically beaten up by Slytherins. So what happens when she finally breaks? Oneshot.


**Disclaimer:** It's all JKR's **stuff.**

**Author's Note:** I came up with the idea to write this when I was really mad at my dad. I need a few angst-y fan fictions out there, right? ;) Enjoy ! And, thanks to all of you that have been reviewing my stories.

**Filthy Mudblood:** _One-shot_

_Some day you'll sing it out loud,_

_One day this will make you proud..._

----- 

The Hogwarts lake looked beautiful as the pearly light rays of the setting sun grazed its watery surface. The sky was a flaming haze of pink and orange and lemon yellow. With each passing minute, the sun sank lower and lower and lower as if it would never come back up again. And with each passing second, the sky grew darker, and darker, and darker until it seemed like everything had disappeared altogether, except for the glowing crescent moon and the sound of nature.

Lily's throat was constricting; a lump growing larger in it. She painfully tried to swallow it away, blinking back the swarm of tears in her eyes. Lily Evans, the girl who never cried. Oh, if every single Hogwarts student could see what a joke that really was. Actually, she cried often these days, whether it was just under stress, or the aching want of wanting to be held and kissed by that of the male gender.

That's why she cried all of the time, because of: Mind-distorting. Mental. Pain.

But how could the Slytherins have said those horrible things to her? Sure, it had always been harsh words, but this time it had been physical, too.

"_You're nothing but a no-good filthy mudblood,"_ Severus Snape had said as he pushed her against the wall and smacked her across the face. She still had the mark from it. It turned out that the grease-ball was stronger than he looked.

"_You filthy bitch,"_ Bellatrix Black had screeched into her ear as she threw a helpless Lily onto the cold, hard, tile ground.

She closed her eyes, trying to block away the gateway of her pain. She was sick of it. Why couldn't they leave her alone? Why couldn't they just get a life? What had _she_ ever done to them? In fact, she was always standing up for Snape when Potter came 'round to hex him into oblivion.

Lily had not cried when her father had been killed by Voldemort a year ago. She had not cried when Snape had smacked her, and she had not cried when Bellatrix had shoved her against the ground. Lily didn't cry when she was about to crack under the pressure of being Head Girl, or the fact that she was extremely lonely. She didn't even cry when the harsh words escaped from every damn one of the Slytherins' rude lips. But she cried now. Like a new-born baby taking their first look at the world. And it almost felt good, just to let out all of her emotions that had been bottled up inside of her for months, even years.

Her body racked with sobs as she nearly trembled. Lily's vision went blurry until she could barely see. And she cried harder when she thought of James Potter.

He had stood up for her in that hallway earlier when she was being harassed. He had protected her. And what did she do? She pushed him away, just like she had been doing her entire years at Hogwarts.

"Lily?"

How could she have totally ignored him like that, when all he wanted to do was help?

"Lily!"

Sure, he was an "arrogant toe-rag", but he hadn't been right then...

"LILY?"

But now she supposed it was all too late...

"LILY EVANS!"

Realizing that someone was calling her name, Lily shook herself from her thoughts, and rubbed at her eyes. The very person she had just been thinking about, was standing about thirty feet behind her, shivering in a black cloak.

"W-what do you want, P-Potter?" she sniffed, wiping her nose rudely on the edge of her own, worn, brown cloak.

"It's, um... it's late, Evans. Why don't you just come inside? Do you think – well maybe we could..." He raked an almost feverish hand through his jet black hair that blended in with the night's atmosphere. "...you know, talk?"

"I don't want to talk, Potter, I want to die," Lily leaned up against a beach tree extremely dramatically, and for a moment James thought she was playing a joke on him.

"Don't talk like that, Evans, you're amazing... if you weren't, I wouldn't like you so much, now would I?" Lily was almost 99.9 positive that he was grinning as he said this, and it almost made her want to smile. _Almost. _

"Just go inside, Pot..er.. James. I know you're cold, you don't have to wait around for me b-because I'm not c-coming," Tears started to fall again and Lily viciously wiped them away.

James, who was incredibly stubborn, ignored the red-head and walked over anyways. He placed a hand on her trembling shoulder, and then used the other to hoist her up.

"Don't...touch me," Lily squirmed away from him as she said this through gritted teeth, again, coming off harsher than she wanted to. But then again, she _always_ did it. Unfortunately, nobody could see that, especially James.

"What the hell is your problem, Evans?" He shook his head, let out an angry yell and kicked the tree. "All I try to do is help you, and make you like me, and be nice to you. Because I _like you_. But what do you do? You throw it back in my face! I can't take it anymore, what the _fuck_ is wrong with you?"

Lily pulled her cloak tighter around her small frame, and looked at James, incredibly taken aback. Wasn't _she_ supposed to be the one hurting? After all, she was the one with the pounding head-ache, the blood shot eyes, and the tears streaming down her face, and the pride ripped to shreds.

"_My problem?_ _My_ problem? Well, Potter, _my_ problem is that I'm sick – oh, I'm _so_ sick, of being called a mudblood! And being told that I won't make it anywhere in life, and that I have to go through it every day, and get beat up, inside and outside. I'm tired of people trying to make me feel better because it's _not working_." She took a deep breath, becoming more bitter and then continued, "But most of all, I'm sick of you thinking that you have to try _so hard_ to win my heart,"

And with that, Lily broke down. She pushed James into the beach tree and kissed him while crying harder than she had been before. Lily held onto him with all of the strength she had left, and kissed him again and again until she finally violently shoved him away and nimbly walked back to the castle in the darkness. She disappeared from sight.

James stood under the tree with his jaw agape, and then, it started rain...

----- 

Lily woke up that morning with a terrible head ache. She had only a blurry memory of the events that had happened the night before, but her lips felt tingly. And then all of the color drained from her face.

She had kissed him! Lily had bloody _kissed_ James Potter! And not just on the cheek or one time, either.

Lily slipped into the shower with her mind corrupted with thoughts of what James had done when she walked away.

She got out of the shower, dried her hair, slipped on her uniform, applied make up, grabbed her school bag, and walked quietly into the Head common room, careful not to wake James. And then, she finally walked down to breakfast _alone_.

Hours later, Lily slipped into the dungeons for Potions Lessons. All of the Slytherins gave her dirty looks, but nothing was said. Then, a raunchy, foul stank filled the air: a mega-dung bomb. Lily was nearly gagging as she watched all of the Slytherins flee.

The dungeons corridor was nearly emptied within minutes, but Lily still had to plug her nose from the stink. A tall figure flashed, and caught her eyes and Lily found it to be James. He gave her a mischievous wink and then smiled.

_I guess he doesn't hate me after all_, Lily thought, and felt a rush of pain from last night hit her, and then fade away...

As James continued to smile, Lily's lips curved, twisted, and eventually formed into one, too. She smiled – for what seemed like the first time that year – and knew that for once, everything would be okay.

----- 

**A/N:** It was a tad-bit corny and dramatic, in the end especially. But, it was angst-y, too, yeah?

- hopes that it was angst-y -

Well, I like it. I was hoping to try and get inside the character's minds this time than have some quickly written humor/fluff fan fiction. But, it definitely was dramatic, lol.

Annnywaaays... read & review or die a slow and painful death! ;D

I mean.. read & review, _por favor_.

**indigoskies**


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